Whether you're a beginner or a full-on sexpert, the truth is that very few of us are having that immaculate, rose-petals-on-silk-sheets kind of sex that seems to only exist on-screen and in our wildest dreams.
The harsh reality of sex can be messy, inelegant and occasionally unsatisfying. Therefore, it makes sense to ask the question; what mistakes are you making?
Adore & More will guide you through the 7 biggest blunders you need to avoid if you want your next encounter to be a mind-blowing sex session to remember.
Faking Your Orgasms
It's a bit of an obvious one, but this needs to be reaffirmed... Faking orgasms doesn't help anyone!
It's also indicative of larger problems within the relationship - was it just a one off, or have you been faking for most of your time together? Either way, it represents a lack of communication and an inability for one or both partners to confront the issues behind the underwhelming or unsatisfying sex you're having.
If you start talking about sex and re-engaging on a physical level, it's likely that you will reconnect on an emotional level as well and as you become physically closer, the two halves of the relationship will help themselves.
Talking Too Much
There's a difference between uttering a few of naughty exchanges between the sheets (telling them how fast, slow or hard you want it or whispering some flirty directives) and recounting your entire day, referring to body parts like you would an instruction manual and providing other 'un-sexy' distractions that will just kill the mood. Remember, sex is supposed to be instinctive not descriptive.
Expecting Your Partner To Be A Mind Reader
You may have been with your partner for years, but you can't possibly know what they're thinking. It's also a mistake to think that they can automatically read yours too. If you don't ever vocalise your loves, hates, fantasies and desires, sex is likely to be clumsy and unfulfilling.
No Desire To Try New Things
You don't have to become an S&M master or mistress to mix things up in the bedroom. Just don't close your mind to new experiences and new things that your partner wants to try. Experimenting and exploring will keep sex fresh even if you've been together for a long time, eliminating that stale, 'routine sex' feeling and even helping to enhance feelings of desire between you and your partner. The best place to start is with a sex toy, so take a look around Adore & More's huge selection of toys, designed to cater to your every need.
Masturbating fuels the fire for your libido, stimulates your erotic imagination and helps you learn more about what you like. If you're not prepared to learn about your own body, how can you expect your partner to pleasure you successfully?
Making No Effort
The longer you're in a relationship, the harder it becomes to sustain the mystery between you and your partner. However, complacency should not take the place of mystery. Neglecting general hygiene, not taking care of yourself and becoming completely lazy and settled will rub off on your partner or turn them off completely. If sex seems to be lacking or absent from the relationship, you may need to clean up your act or reintroduce some of the 'sexiness' that first kick-started your relationship - brand new underwear is a good place to start.
Looking At Planning In The Wrong Way
Timetabling sex and never altering the pattern will do well to kill the desire you have for your partner, but planning isn't an entirely negative thing. We all lead very busy, stressful and hectic lives and finding the time for intimacy can be difficult. Spontaneous sex in new relationships is a frequent occurrence but after years together it's just not sustainable, therefore planning can have a place, just so long as it doesn't become the routine.